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   Student Writing
    (November 12,2002)

 


 

Ildiko and Sally wrote these paragraphs in response to an Advanced Composition Assignment on topic sentences. Note the humour used in the Ildiko's paragraph, along with vocabulary suitable to a discussion of "wet" coast Vancouver! Sally's paragraph is full of detail that creates a clear atmosphere for the reader.
 

 

Depressing Vancouver Weather
by Ildiko

     Vancouver weather makes me feel depressed. Among my friends we often say jokingly that there are only two seasons in Vancouver: the rainy one and the much rainier one. Indeed, the sky darkens early in October and almost doesn’t lighten until the end of April. The horizon gets hazy, misty, and vaporous so I can’t see the beautiful mountains around the city. I see only the dark, dingy sky and my mood turns to melancholy. Then, the rain begins to fall. First, it is drizzling for days making the roads wet and slippery, spattering my car with dirt and making me feel dumpy. After this, the rain starts pouring. I used to say: “Raining cats and dogs,” and there is no way to get out without being soaked to the skin. Thenceforward I would rather stay at home and listen to the dash of the rain on the windows. Soon after, the fear of being confined within four walls comes upon me and alters my mood for the worse. Then the shower eases up, and gives me some hope for cheerfulness, but it doesn’t clear off entirely: only the clouds vary in grossness and thickness. The soft rain sprinkles for weeks and maybe it takes one or two days break, but I feel it has been raining with different intensity ever since it started. This long, unremitting rainfall makes me spiritless, dumpish and depressed.

Annoying Vancouver Rainy and Windy Season
by Sally

     Vancouver has a long, terrible rainy and windy days in winter, which have disturbed me very much. When I have to go to school on foot, the chill wind bites into my skin like a mad dog. The most annoying thing is that a gust of wind blows my umbrella inside out and a truck spatters mud and water on my trousers as it passes by me at high speed. With wet clothes, it is hard for me to concentrate on my class until they are dried by my body heat. If I stay at home, the trouble still bothers me. At night, in the poorly heated room, the wind, which finds its way through cracks in my window frame, lowers the temperature. Outside, the wind howls around the house I live, with a harsh voice once in a while as if someone is whistling in my pitch-black room. I shiver involuntarily even if I lie in bed under double my covers. The next morning, looking at the endless rain and the gray sky, I wonder when the long terrible rainy, windy days will be ended and a warm sunny day will come

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Short paragraph demonstrating the use of the senses in writing.

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