PEARSON
ADULT LEARNING CENTRE
Advanced Composition
Revising for Conciseness: Group Workshop
February 11 and 12, 2004
Today, we will revise the teacher paragraph, “
Writing
a Good Paragraph,” to make it more concise. Its present length is
295 words. Our goal is to reduce it by 50% or more.
Workshop:
Work in pairs to identify three places where sentences can be
reduced and made more concise.
Be prepared to share your ideas with the class.
Assignment:
Write your own, 125-word paragraph on two things you have learned
about writing this term (or at any time if you are a new student).
Identify one thing you would still like to learn.
Bring your paragraph to class next week.
See the revised paragraph.
(now 99 words!)
Writing A Good Paragraph
Since the paragraph is the second most
important part of writing structure (after the sentence), writing a good
paragraph is an important skill to master. Always, in the beginning, we
have a blank page and a pen, or a blank screen and a keyboard. Before we
fill in that page or screen, however, what happens? For me, I need first
to have an intention, a need to write, a reason to communicate. Without
these, the writing will not come easily. Right now, to communicate with
you is my reason, and I have the intention of sharing some of my
knowledge of writing with you. To be effective once started, our
sentences need to be thought of carefully, not as separate pieces, but
as parts of a whole. A sentence speaks. Short sentences, like the one
just before this one, speak emphatically. Long ones, like this sentence,
have the luxury of time, the ability to be complex, and are best saved
for important thoughts requiring such complexity. Thus, effective
sentences happen in groups, not in isolation. The effect you produce can
therefore be altered by carefully looking at the kinds of and lengths of
sentences you use, and for what purposes you have used them. Now, after
all this hard work, one might imagine that the writing is done. This
couldn’t be further from the truth: in reality, writing is a slow
process where small changes are made, or large ones as the case may be.
Always, however, the intention is the same. We rewrite (or revise) in
order to communicate better our meanings and understanding to other
human beings: the readers. Ultimately, writing is about communication.
The paragraph is a convenient package for our thoughts and so is an
important tool to use and master. (295 words; FIRST DRAFT)
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