The following notes come from a student
practice session on writing improvement. Includes samples of student
writing and teacher comments (in italics).
I couldn’t swim so much in the baby pool, my son felt excited
(exciting), and I shared the enjoyment (enjoy) with him.—21 words
be afraid to write a compound-complex sentence sometimes. Note how the
sentence starts with a dependent clause and also includes a compound at
the end. It is important to master the long sentence to aid your
sentence variety for tests.
I was on (played) the computer all last weekend.
We play games on the computer. We work on the computer. Mostly, we are “on” the computer. We also type “on” the keyboard.
It’s daylight (summer) saving time. The correct term for the time change on Sunday morning is “daylight saving time.”
woke up at 6 a.m. and after I took a walk around my neighbourhood
(house) with my dog, who (which) is called “Terry,” I took my son to
air cadets at 9 a.m.
sentence shows a progression of time and events in order. Another way
to write a longer sentence is to include a series of activities you do.
Shopping for Nothing at Ikea
On Saturday morning, my wife and I got up early as usual, looked out
the window, saw the rain coming down, and decided to go to Ikea. We
couldn’t walk the dog, for she hates the rain. My children were still
sleeping. In fact, they wouldn’t get up for hours, so we thought a
drive out to Ikea would be a good idea. I had an idea that we could buy
a new desk for our computer, which is in a tricky place for a
desk—beside a wall with a pocket door and near a bright window. The
desk, if we could find one, would ideally have a curve to better fit
into our space. We measured first. Unfortunately, our measuring tapes
measure only in inches, not centimetres. At Ikea, of course, all
measurements are in centimetres! When we arrived at Ikea, just before
11 a.m., we noticed quite a few cars in the parking lot. We discovered
why later because the office furniture area is beside the cafeteria. If
you arrive early, you can eat breakfast for one dollar! We weren’t
hungry, however, so we went to the desk area and started looking. Ikea
has many desks, but it does not have the one right desk for us! We gave
up after about 45 minutes and tried across the road at Staples. We saw
some interesting desks, but nothing exactly right. In the end, we
returned home empty handed. Our children were still sleeping, but,
because we are mean parents, we woke them up!