The following notes come from a student
practice session on writing improvement. Includes samples of student
writing and teacher comments (in italics).
sunny, shiny, bright, clear, dazzling (very bright) rainy, stormy, drizzly
warm, mild, hot windy, breezy, blowy, gusty, blustery cloudy
clouds, rain, sun, a gust of wind, drizzle, dust, dust storm, sandstorm (nouns)
blows, falls, shines, drizzles, gusts, (verbs)
foggy, fog, smog, smoggy (pollution), hazy, haze, smoke, smoky
snow, snowing, snowy, snowflake, sleet (snow and rain mix), freezing rain dew frost
thunderstorm, lightning, hail (ice pellets that fall)
like rainy days. That’s why I immigrated to Vancouver. Rainy weather
makes me feel good, so I often take a walk in the rain. Rain makes the
air clean. If my car is dirty, it can wash it.
is clearly written. To improve it, we combined four sentences to make
two. Amy should work on making some of her sentences a bit longer, but
not all of them.
Rain is good and bad. Rain is good for tree planting and the harvest, but bad for construction and seasonal workers.
the style of the second sentence when you have a contrast. In
Balvinder’s sentence he shows the both the good and the bad of rain and
how it affects people. When ideas are similar or in contrast use one
sentence to show it.
This is fall season. The weather is cool. The leaves turn brown in autumn.
Short sentences, but where is the main idea?
I live on the sixteenth floor. If the weather is smoggy, I stand at the window and I can’t see other buildings or the mountains.
is something I can see in my mind’s eye. It makes the writing more
personal to read. Use this kind of example if you can because it makes
people want to read your words more.
Sunny is very nice
weather. I like sunny weather because the sun is bright and the sky is
clean. Yesterday, it was a sunny day. Summer started in June and so on.
Harshika has also used
many images (mind pictures) to help us imagine what she sees. One thing
she can work on is to remember to stop with a period for each new
thought. This helps the reader to understand more easily.
week, it was drizzly on one or two days. I hate drizzle! It makes me
feel damp. If I go out, my hat, my shoes and my coat are wet in 15
minutes. If I want to see mist, I prefer to go to a waterfall like
A thunderstorm is very dramatic. Usually, it
happens on a sunny, hot day. Soon, the sky grows very dark. The air
becomes much cooler. Then, we see a flash of lightning. After that, we
hear a loud clap of thunder. It is time to go inside! Often, hail falls
and covers the ground like snow. Or, it rains very hard. In fact, it
Idiomatic Verb and Preposition Combinations
The Best Gifts
Our Earliest Memories
What We're Reading Now
Simple Sentences (Noun and Verb)
Writing about a Favourite Place
Making Sentences Longer 2
Writing about the Rain
Writing about a Person
Writing about Lunch
Writing about Snow
Making Sentences Longer