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  Brad's Teacher Writing (October 2, 2002)
 

 
 

The following are two teacher sample paragraphs for the exercise, It's All in the Details: Writing a Good Example.

Lovely Vancouver Rain and Wind

     Vancouver has a fine combination of rain and wind that I love dearly. Yes, love! When the skies darken as they have today, and the air feels soft and moist on my skin, I await the coming deluge with gleeful anticipation. Tonight, I'll hear the rain pound against the fragile plastic roof over my back deck and the whoosh of wind making my lilac's leaves sway and dance. That same wind will find its way through cracks in my window and I'll smell the sweetness in the air, even as I lie in bed, snug and cozy under my covers. In the morning, if it is still raining, I'll enjoy a blustery walk to get my copy of The Globe and Mail and feel the rain soaking me through my cotton trousers. After I put my money in the box, I'll tuck the paper away under my jacket, its reassuring bulk rubbing me under my arm, as I walk home through the dim downpour. Then, at breakfast, I'll read the news and listen to the sounds of the rain lashing my neighbour's patio. Ah yes, Vancouver's combination of windy, rainy days is one of its essential (and frequent) pleasures!

—Brad Hyde, 204 words, first draft on October 2, 2002

 

Vancouver Snowstorms

     Though rare, Vancouver occasionally has a big snowstorm, and when it does it brings a wonderful atmosphere to this great city. If, as it happens, the snowfall begins at night, the first sign is a deep quiet that descends on our usually busy streets. Normal sounds, like the neighbour’s car starting up in the morning, sound muffled and far away. On such days, I pull the drapes back eagerly to see how high the snow has piled on my backyard trees. The back fence is my snow “gauge,” and if it is high enough, I know that the town will come to a standstill that day. Before breakfast, I shovel my sidewalks, enjoying the hard labour and the crisp air that burns my cheeks. I love to stop, sweat soaked now, and admire the thickly falling flakes, for Vancouver’s snow often falls near 0 degrees. Later on, the sounds of children fill my neighbourhood as sleighs and toboggans are hauled up to Little Mountain to slide again and again down its steeper slopes. We like to walk, my wife and I together, and visit with our neighbours who come out to marvel at the snow’s depth and discuss how much more may fall. Each winter carries the promise of a Vancouver snowstorm, which will make our city a wondrous place for a day.

—Brad Hyde (222 words; first draft writing on October 3, 2002)

 

 

 

 

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