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The following are two teacher sample paragraphs for the exercise, Putting it Together: Conjunctive Adverbs and the Semicolon. See the second paragraph, "Reckless Road Racing"

Crossing the Street: A Dangerous Proposition

      Over the past ten years or so, crossing the street, a simple, everyday activity, has become much more dangerous. Vancouver has seen large yearly increases in the number of cars on the road; as a result, drivers have become increasingly stressed. One way this stress is seen is in new kinds of dangerous behaviour towards pedestrians. For example, it used to be enough to tell our children to look left then right before crossing the street; in fact, now we also need to tell them to look over their shoulders, for drivers turning right may also hit a child. Everyone who has taken the driver’s test knows that the pedestrian has the right of way at an intersection or crosswalk; however, any pedestrian who behaves as if they do risks finding an early grave. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen another driver go around a car that has stopped for a pedestrian. Nowadays, schools must have special raised crosswalks with “bump outs” to prevent a clearly lawless behaviour! To my children I can only say, “Assume all drivers are crazy. That way you can stay safe.” I hope that, perhaps, Canada’s requirement to meet our Kyoto Accord promises will get us out of our cars, and walking, again, since the more I walk, the more I see the “car culture” of our city in its poorest light.

— 231 words; first draft writing on October 24, 2002

Reckless Road Racing

     Road racing has become a serious problem in the past few years. Most people, and indeed most young people, do not speed; however, one group of young people do choose to race their cars on our city streets. As my children get older, they are more often out late at night; in fact, since they are out at night I worry that they are more likely to be hurt or killed by road racers. It seems to me that road racers have become more common as reckless and careless driving has become more common and accepted by society. The "I own the road" attitude is clearly evident in the behaviour of many drivers. In fact, to people's great surprise, some racers came to an anti-racing meeting to express their belief that they have a "right" to race on city streets! It seems to me that the overall solution to the problem requires a change in thinking among drivers; as a result, I advocate harsher punishment for all infractions, for all drivers. In this way, the commonplace acceptance of lawless behaviour on our streets would, I sincerely hope, end, and along with it, the outlaw behaviour of road racing.

—198 words; first draft writing on October 23, 2002

 

 

 

 

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