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English 10: Teacher Writing   November 15, 2000

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The following are two short draft essays, one complete and the other with only the body paragraphs. These were written as part of a class exercise entitled, "Beginning the Essay." Second essay: "On Getting Older"

A Fit Lifestyle

     A number of years ago, I had an experience that changed my life forever. I hiked through a swamp full of mosquitoes, up a steep hill, and through thick trees. How could that change my life? Well, my shortness of breath and frequent need for breaks gave me a good reason to change my lifestyle.

     The first thing I did was to take out a membership at the local fitness centre and become a regular patron. One of the staff showed me a number of good exercises I could do that would help tone all parts of my body. Lifting weights, something I had never done before, became a part of my regular routine. In addition, I started to ride an exercise bicycle at the centre in order to increase my heart and lung capacity. I've attended regularly now for some 10 years, so my lifestyle has certainly changed.

     Next, I got back onto my bicycle again after many years of gathering dust in the basement. A child seat at the back made it possible to carry one of my children safely. My daughter has many fond memories of travelling to the Produce City Plus on Cambie Street in Vancouver. For me, I remember getting dinner; for her, she remembers the jelly beans! Sometimes, my wife and I would go together on a bicycle ride, enjoying the beautiful Vancouver neighbourhoods. A bicycle is a wonderful machine for giving pleasure and aiding a fit lifestyle.

     Lastly, I began walking again in a regular way. This kind of exercise is the easiest to do: all I need is my coat and hat and a place to go. For me, it's always Queen Elizabeth Park. To walk around the park takes about one hour from my house and gives me access to many pretty views of the city. Recently, I've become a dog owner, which has only increased my walking. You'll see me, in all kinds of horrible weather, out walking my dog. In fact, the gardeners at Queen Elizabeth Park call me "the man in blue" because of my blue coat and pants! Walking has become a key part of my fitness lifestyle.

     In the end, my experience so many years ago has really changed my fitness lifestyle. Working with weights, riding bicycles, and walking regularly are routine. Now, when I climb up a steep mountain hill, I only need worry about the mosquitoes and not about my panting and wheezing breath.

Word Count: 413

Paragraphs: 5

Written in 15 minutes (!) as a first draft by Brad Hyde in class on November 15, 2000

On Getting Older

     Getting older is a much more complex process than I ever thought before. Of course, I am losing my hair, rather rapidly in the last year or so. This has been a big shock, since I had held out hope that I would inherit from my mother's side and not my father's, where all the men have gone bald by age 40. It's the creaky bones, though, and the aches and pains that are more upsetting. After a day working on my house, I get much more sore than ever before. It makes me wonder how much more it will hurt in the future and whether I can do anything about making it happen any less. My hearing is poor already, and I was recently shocked to find that my younger sister and brother were also suffering from hearing loss. This problem is a severe one as I am a teacher who must listen to his students. My children have become impatient with me and are having to learn to speak to me directly and to use my name before speaking.

     My mother and father, though very active, are clearly older than before. Their faces have changed, becoming more deeply lined. The funny thing is that the way I remember them is at the age I am now, and when I left home to go to college is a date approaching very quickly for me and my own children. But my parents are not young any more. With each passing year, I feel closer to their ages than to my own youth. Not surprising actually, because it will soon be 30 years since I left high school. I take some solace from the fact that my parents are the youngest in their families, and all their brothers and sisters are living independently with all their mental faculties still intact.

     Children have had a big effect on my perceptions of aging. They are not old, but they are getting older. My son is now taller than I; my daughter is becoming a young woman. As they approach adulthood, I will soon see three generations of adults in my immediate family: my parents; myself; my children. Soon, I suppose, becoming a grandparent will be a possibility in my life. Small things, like my children's need to rebel against their parents, brings back memories. Not that their rebellion is any more pleasant for me than it was for my parents! And their perception that life is endless, that there is enough time, is the one I had not so long ago. Now, I know different, but cannot change them any more than I could change myself so long ago.

Word Count: 446

Paragraphs: 3

Incomplete first draft of an essay written on November 15 by Brad Hyde.

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