The following are two short draft essays, one complete
and the other with only the body paragraphs. These were written as part
of a class exercise entitled, "Beginning
the Essay." Second essay: "On Getting
Older"
A Fit Lifestyle
A number of years ago, I had an experience
that changed my life forever. I hiked through a swamp full of mosquitoes,
up a steep hill, and through thick trees. How could that change my life?
Well, my shortness of breath and frequent need for breaks gave me a good
reason to change my lifestyle.
The first thing I did was to take out a
membership at the local fitness centre and become a regular patron. One of
the staff showed me a number of good exercises I could do that would help
tone all parts of my body. Lifting weights, something I had never done
before, became a part of my regular routine. In addition, I started to
ride an exercise bicycle at the centre in order to increase my heart and
lung capacity. I've attended regularly now for some 10 years, so my
lifestyle has certainly changed.
Next, I got back onto my bicycle again after
many years of gathering dust in the basement. A child seat at the back
made it possible to carry one of my children safely. My daughter has many
fond memories of travelling to the Produce City Plus on Cambie Street in
Vancouver. For me, I remember getting dinner; for her, she remembers the
jelly beans! Sometimes, my wife and I would go together on a bicycle ride,
enjoying the beautiful Vancouver neighbourhoods. A bicycle is a wonderful
machine for giving pleasure and aiding a fit lifestyle.
Lastly, I began walking again in a regular
way. This kind of exercise is the easiest to do: all I need is my coat and
hat and a place to go. For me, it's always Queen Elizabeth Park. To walk
around the park takes about one hour from my house and gives me access to
many pretty views of the city. Recently, I've become a dog owner, which
has only increased my walking. You'll see me, in all kinds of horrible
weather, out walking my dog. In fact, the gardeners at Queen Elizabeth
Park call me "the man in blue" because of my blue coat and
pants! Walking has become a key part of my fitness lifestyle.
In the end, my experience so many years ago
has really changed my fitness lifestyle. Working with weights, riding
bicycles, and walking regularly are routine. Now, when I climb up a steep
mountain hill, I only need worry about the mosquitoes and not about my
panting and wheezing breath.
Word Count: 413
Paragraphs: 5
Written in 15 minutes (!) as a first draft by Brad Hyde in class on
November 15, 2000
On Getting Older
Getting older is a much more complex process
than I ever thought before. Of course, I am losing my hair, rather rapidly
in the last year or so. This has been a big shock, since I had held out
hope that I would inherit from my mother's side and not my father's, where
all the men have gone bald by age 40. It's the creaky bones, though, and
the aches and pains that are more upsetting. After a day working on my
house, I get much more sore than ever before. It makes me wonder how much
more it will hurt in the future and whether I can do anything about making
it happen any less. My hearing is poor already, and I was recently shocked
to find that my younger sister and brother were also suffering from
hearing loss. This problem is a severe one as I am a teacher who must
listen to his students. My children have become impatient with me and are
having to learn to speak to me directly and to use my name before
speaking.
My mother and father, though very active, are
clearly older than before. Their faces have changed, becoming more deeply
lined. The funny thing is that the way I remember them is at the age I am
now, and when I left home to go to college is a date approaching very
quickly for me and my own children. But my parents are not young any more.
With each passing year, I feel closer to their ages than to my own youth.
Not surprising actually, because it will soon be 30 years since I left
high school. I take some solace from the fact that my parents are the
youngest in their families, and all their brothers and sisters are living
independently with all their mental faculties still intact.
Children have had a big effect on my
perceptions of aging. They are not old, but they are getting older. My son
is now taller than I; my daughter is becoming a young woman. As they
approach adulthood, I will soon see three generations of adults in my
immediate family: my parents; myself; my children. Soon, I suppose,
becoming a grandparent will be a possibility in my life. Small things,
like my children's need to rebel against their parents, brings back
memories. Not that their rebellion is any more pleasant for me than it was
for my parents! And their perception that life is endless, that there is
enough time, is the one I had not so long ago. Now, I know different, but
cannot change them any more than I could change myself so long ago.
Word Count: 446
Paragraphs: 3
Incomplete first draft of an essay written on November 15
by Brad Hyde.